midlife

just unpacked a cny hamper. 

actually i unpacked the contents last night. this morning was about 20mins of unpacking the packaging, flattening boxes, separating plastic from cardboard.  

midlife is a lot of things of dull. 

and looking for inspiration in elevator posters. 

the crises of reaching middle age isn't dramatic as what the movies make it to be. 

there is definitely a lot that has been written about it such that you can't not be aware of it. 

it isn't a surprise when it happens. 

but what do you do about it when it arrives?

and how long does it plan to stay?

what if it never goes away?

what if there is no midlife but just old life? 

let's try this journaling thing again

i should update the subtitle but can't think of anything interesting sounding yet. i may not be 30 something anymore but here i am ... still lainey in the (klang) valley. 40-something something sounds too blah so this will have to stick until i dream up something else. 

i needed a medium to express my thoughts. in a form that isn't private but doesn't need or seek to be acknowledged/liked. i feel that blogging is perfect in the sense that its just the right amount of public that keeps a writer in check from being too extremely self indulgent in the off-chance that others may wander into the space. most social media these days (fb, twitter) - their main purpose is to engage others even if some people want to use it as a repository of life events. i find myself editing or curating a post for public consumption. the writing becomes self-conscious and thoughts filtered. 

as i inch closer to 50 - i think it's timely to start journaling again, putting down thoughts to paper. i wish i had the discipline to start at the beginning of the covid lockdowns. 2 years on - it appears that the world is healing and moving on. so today i commit to write a paragraph a day, everyday about life here in the valley. xx