1/My parents were not supposed to die 'young' in their early 70s. I always expected them to be around till their late 90s, like my mum's dad, and my dad's mum. but I forget that I had other grandparents who died before I was born and did not meet.
2/When my parents died, I gained vocabulary. cardiac arrest & pulmonary embolism. 2 medical terms I had no prior concept of before feb18 2019 & june22 2022. My world has changed since then. I now belong to a club I never wanted to join.
3/When my dad died, we did not have time to grieve properly. my brothers and I went into auto mode to make sure mum was ok and try to make up for my dad's presence in her life. it was like climbing Mt Everest. But we tried nevertheless.
4/My dad died pre-pandemic. extended family flew into Sydney from all over the world. Many of them arrived before I did. I arrived to a full house. my mum, and my brothers and me shifted into 'hospitality' gears automatically.
5/It was a big and beautiful send off. I think dad would've enjoyed it, from the moving eulogy and slide presentation by my brother ed, to the choral presentation complete with trumpet by his choir, to the splendid tea spread, and the sermon message by his long time pastor.
6/ My mum's funeral was small, sweet & beautiful. like her. a bible verse read by Phil, a hymn led by Ed on the guitar, liturgy & short sharing by Ed's pastor. We had contemporary music to close with Moon represents my Heart (at which point 2 of my aunts bawled)
7/ Both my parents died suddenly and unexpectedly. They were not ailing and went for regular health check ups. I think the trauma of receiving phone calls informing that my dad/mum passed away will lessen with time but neither will it go away completely ever.
8/ Life goes on. Same yet different. I think that it is impossible for those who have not lost parents to understand. But we all have to walk that valley eventually unless we precede our parents.
9/ On a more hopeful note, I have been given a second chance to build relationships with my brothers and their families in a way that we never sought nor imagined when my parents were alive. And I know my parents would have liked that 